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VLOG Galia Brener
 

Galia Brener's column

Bye bye old, hello new!

Get rid of old skeletons, and make room for new wonderful things to happen in 2013. Clean the disgusting "garbage" that holds you back from enjoying a new chapter in your life next year!
There are a few days left before the year ends, which leaves you with some time to decide: which people, situations, bad habits, things, emotions and hurts you must clean out of your life in order to make space for the new wonderful things that shall happen next year! Let’s call it Feng Shui-ing your life for happiness!

If you are carrying baggage with you from the past or present; such as a very painful breakup, a love that no longer works, your job suddenly gone, a friend that has betrayed you, or other unfortunate situations, now is the perfect time to work on it, let it go and move on. You deserve to be happy! It’s time to stop torturing yourself and open up to the glorious opportunities that life has in store for you!

In order to allow this renewal to come into your life, you must make a cut with the past. You must deal with these issues, because if you don’t, they will come back to haunt you. Face and feel the emotions: anger, hurt, sadness, fear. Cry your heart out. Scream. Punch your pillow – let it all out! Give yourself a certain timeframe where you grieve, after that, it’s time for the healing to begin. If you stay in the grieving phase for too long, you will not recover properly. This takes courage and strength. Save yourself, or else you will be broken for a very long time!

Go through your flat and throw out anything that reminds you of the past, which you no longer need. Why keep that concert ticket that you both went to? It will only hurt you over and over every time you see it. Make space for the new! Don’t keep your flat full of junk. Every time you get rid of one more useless thing, you feel much lighter, and the air around you will be easier to breath. If you do not like to throw out pictures, then at least put them in a box or burn them onto a DVD, and take them down to the cellar. I know this is super hard, but you must delete all photos of you and your ex from your phone and computer. You cannot afford to get hurt every time you look at them. It’s emotional suicide. Do not open the wound over and over again. Be strong and love yourself.

Forgive. That’s the only way to truly move on. Forgive your boss for firing you. Forgive your body for hurting inside. Forgive your ex for betraying you. Most importantly, forgive yourself. You must forgive yourself for allowing the hurt to affect you so hard, for not seeing the truth earlier, for allowing others to treat you badly, for thinking that you did something to destroy the relationship, etc. If you are the one that has done the wrong, contact that person, apologize and ask for forgiveness. Be strong, and face your mistakes.

Remind yourself of the bad stuff. You hated the hours of your job, your boss was never on your side, and did he make you feel worthless or stupid? Remember the times you actually got flowers from your partner/ex, not so often? Did he really appreciate you? No. If you are honest with yourself, he took you and your love for granted. Are they worth the pain you are suffering from now? Open your eyes and heart and look at the reality of the situation! Thank God that you got away from it all! You deserve so much better!

My friend Claudia lost her job and biggest love at the same time. When they met, she had a good job. She took him to wonderful events, and they had so much fun because of her initiative. She brought life and love into his life. A love he never knew before. Even her family took better care of him than his own did. When he was ill, she was always by his side. She was very loyal, and adored him more than anything else on the planet. As soon as her job was gone, he ran away, fearing that she will not find stability anymore. He thought that he helped her by pushing her everyday with finding-a-job-questions, but it was the wrong kind of “help”. She needed him to have unconditional faith in her! But he didn’t truly believe in her, and was not by her side when she needed him most! He didn’t offer to take care of her until she finds a new job, because he was afraid she would live on his costs and use him – although she would never allow this to happen because she was sure that she will find a job soon! He simply betrayed her, in a very ugly, disgusting way. He showed his true face. Funny thing, after they split up, she almost immediately got a fabulous well-paying job! Claudia told me that this was an important test for their love. As soon as the first big crisis hit, he revealed his weakness and ran away. Then the amazing job came. The Gods showed her his real face and true nature. He failed the test big time! Poor Claudia’s heart was completely shattered into a million tiny pieces. He simply shut her out of his life, killed the love, and became a stranger within one bloody week! How could any “normal” human being do such a thing after the love they shared? Love-blinded Claudia tried to make compromises to save the relationship, but he didn’t even make a single step towards reconciliation! He already knows that he made a huge mistake, which he will regret for his entire life. No other woman will love him so truly and unconditionally! I told her that she must be happy that this happened. Who needs such a weak betraying jerk in their life?! She is moving on and meeting fabulous handsome men that appreciate her for who she is.

As you see dear ladies and gentlemen, we have all been there, and experienced awful things. You’re not alone. If you want to be happy again, clean up the mess in your life and move on. Be strong and let go of that garbage. That’s exactly what it is: dirty smelly disgusting garbage, which you do not need! These people never deserved you. Open up your heart and soul to the new opportunities that life wants to give you. So much goodness is waiting for you! In 3 days it’s a new year. Now is your chance to start the year with strength and positivity! Have mercy and love yourself.
28. Dezember 2012
Galia Brener
 
 
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Galia Brener am 3.1.2013, 13:43 Uhr:
Dear Edward, thank you very much for your kind wishes. A very happy new year to you and your loved ones, full of health, happiness, joy, success and love! I absolutely agree with you about the BAD GIRLS article - I have already had many requests for it, and I will definitely write it sometime soon within the next few weeks. It's great to see how many male readers I have. I promise to write more articles for you as well, for the male perspective. I also agree that it's not always so easy to move on, especially when children or true love is involved. I am writing about true love this week, please take a look at the column tomorrow. Thanks again for your praise! :-)
 
Edward R. am 31.12.2012, 14:19 Uhr:
Happy New Year Galia! It?s a great column and a great writer! Heh? I would want to read next year some stories about bad girls as well!!! Keep writing lady, it?s a reason I ever go to this Journal site. Be good to yourself and your fellow readers! Hey, about this article ? good one. I can agree with some stuff, but it?s easy to say than to do. A lot of history that still connects to other person. If not her/him, then kids or common friends. But worth the effort!
 
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