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Galia Brener's Column

Sexy or crazy organic relationships?

Sexy healthy relationships? No sorry, wrong. Healthy lifestyles and horror relationships. I would like to share with you, three dramatic stories about insane relationships. Curious?
It brings me joy to see that we are living in a time where people are taking care of themselves. We practice healthy lifestyles. We watch what we eat, buy organic food, take care of our bodies, and do yoga for the soul. However, it seems that one huge part is being neglected. The healthier the world is becoming, the more messed up our relationships are.

When was the last time you heard from friends how happy and healthy their relationships are? It's time to create a magical organic love yogurt. As soon as it’s eaten, people become instantly enlightened that cheating is disgusting, lying destroys, and flirting with someone else's husband is a very bad thing! Come on organic food companies; give us this magical yogurt already!

Speaking of healthy, or rather, unhealthy relationships, I have three stories for you. My friend Jilli was forced to go to a grungy hippie party. She was the only one wearing heels there, so it was looks all around when she came in. Drinking was the only way to survive this thing, so she went to the bar. On her way, she bumped into a guy that was not her type. Blonde hair - not in the cleanest state, average height, wearing a ragged hoodie. Their eyes locked, and she felt a strange rough passion build up inside her. She felt the wetness between her legs, and the flush on her cheeks. “Mattress-Guy”, who is in the Frankfurt advertising world, said hello. One thing led to another, and they ended up outside, kissing wildly. They dated the weeks after, and Jilli invited him to an event she organized. He came, and brought her a little good luck present, which was a sweet gesture. Unfortunately while Jilli was not looking, he exchanged numbers with a beautiful model, who happens to be Jilli's friend. A week after, Mattress-Guy and Jilli went for dinner and he told her that he wrote the model. Jilli felt the familiar pain in her stomach. This meant that she already fell for him. Son-of-a-!! He admitted he made a mistake and promised to have eyes only for her. Jilli knew that he was lying, but could not break up with him. She wanted him so much, and needed their hot passionate sex! She shut her eyes on this situation, and they continued dating. Jilli kept on having horror dreams about Mattress-Guy giving it hard to the model. A few weeks after, they were supposed to go on a ski trip to St. Moritz. Jilli came over to Mattress-Guy’s flat, all prepared for the drive. He looked at her, and simply said that she is not going, because he is taking a friend instead. Jilli ran out of there, loosing her wits on her run home over the river Main. He tried to get Jilli back, but she avoided the danger. She hated him - but was secretly still in love with him! What a messed up character he is. Mattress-Guy still hurts innocent women in Frankfurt. Even the magical organic love yogurt will not help him anymore. He is a lost soul.

A second good friend of mine, Heather Klein, was dating a guy (Mad Hatter) on and off for a few years. A friend introduced them; let's call her "She Monster." Heather knew that She Monster dated the crazy Mad Hatter long ago, and was quite surprised that she introduced them. Things began quite well. She Monster was encouraging them to date, and "appeared" genuinely happy for them. After a while, heather noticed that something was not right. The She Monster became very vicious to her, suddenly pushing the Mad Hatter away from Heather. He was slowly turning into an evil creature. It seemed that he was either possessed by the devil, or had a loose screw. Little did she know, that the screw was extremely loose! One day the Mad Hatter disappeared into thin air and did not contact Heather for weeks. Worried to death, she did not know what to do. Poor Heather cried the entire time! The Mad hatter reappeared in Frankfurt a few weeks later, with a new Princess of Darkness by his side, freshly brainwashed out of a clinic. A few months later, the princess was seen renting a room alone, and the Mad Hatter was on the hunt for Heather again. This dark evil soul did not release her. Until one day, Heather decided that enough is enough! Finally she closed the chapter in her Alice in Wonderland story.

The third story from the cuckoo closet: Claudia dated a "Wanna-be-bad-a**-fake-over-the-hill-rocker". She met him at a chic club-opening event, go figure! They hit it off well, and she enjoyed running around with a pseudo rebel-looking guy beside her. He was quite charming to her. He treated her to nice dinners, and they enjoyed spending time together. Claudia thought that maybe they could actually have a future together! One evening they went to a glamorous fashion event in Frankfurt, and her friend took photos and posted them on Facebook. A few days after, Claudia received a call from an acquaintance of hers. He wanted to talk to her, and so they met for lunch. After the bill was paid, he dropped the bomb on her. Apparently the pseudo rocker is his ex's boyfriend! They even live together. Claudia thought that she will die on the spot. Her heart was shattered by the silver bullet that just hit her! Claudia called the balding pseudo rocker, and asked if this was true. His answer was quite simple: "Yes, I have a girlfriend, but what does this have to do with us?" He didn't understand why Claudia was so heartbroken! Furthermore, he was angry that his girlfriend found out, and that he had to deal with drama at home. Pure insanity.

It's harder to find a healthy relationship than a healthy junkie on the street. Maybe this health-craze has made us all insane? We worry so much about our jobs, and the scare of living “healthy”, that we neglect the very basic human need for healthy relationships. Who the hell is completely physically and psychologically healthy these days? You can see a perfectly toned man at the gym, but inside his heart and soul might be rotten like Lucifer himself. Same goes for the female version. So let's throw out the fake, over-priced organic bananas, and start being healthy from the inside out: by choosing healthy relationships, and being happy! It’s still out there, true love does exist! I am not one to play “Know-It-All”, because I write from experience. Why? Because one of the above stories is mine... can you guess which one it is? ;-)
17. Mai 2013
Galia Brener
 
 
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