Destroy the shit first and then rebuild your happy life! No one builds a new luxury building on a rotten old foundation, and the same thing goes for you life too! First everything is destroyed, cleaned out, and then rebuilt. Here are 8 important points to help you out.

It's that time again when the year is winding down and we are confronted with our demons. Some call this the "Holiday Blues", thinking they might be depressed, sad or lonely, but it's much deeper and more important than just that. It's a crucial time that will determine how you step into the next year and which direction your life will go. This is a tough love article, so I might seem somewhat harsh, but it's for our own good.

Like it or not, a new year is a “reset”. Even if you don't believe in this, your brain is subconsciously influenced by the thought of a "new start". If you are honest with yourself, there are some things that you can change and improve about your life. In order to do so, you must first destroy the existing defective base before you build a new structure. No one builds a new luxury building on a rotten old foundation. Never! First everything is destroyed, cleaned out, and then rebuilt.

This week I deal with the points of elimination and destruction of the bad things in your life that drain your happiness. (Next week I will address how to rebuilt a new foundation).

1. Get rid of the toxic people in your life. Cut off anyone that hurts and drains you. They won't help you grow and will only deplete your goodness with their needy problems and dramas. Be tough even if it seems merciless. You are not their emotional garbage bin so don't let them dump their shit in your life. Enough!

2. Forgive. This is a tough point, especially if someone has hurt you badly. Regardless if the were friends, exes or colleagues, forgive all these idiots that hurt you. You are doing this for yourself and not for them! You don't have to speak to them or see them again – but forgiveness allows you to burn away “your” pain and anger, which is blocking you from the good new things.

3. Say NO. We do too many things to be "good" for others, and sometimes even do what we don’t want to. Stop it immediately and don't hesitate to say NO! Stop going against yourself. By the way, the others will respect you actually more for standing your ground.

4. Nothing is personal. Remember; when people do or say something mean to you, it's their issue and not yours! Destroy the ability to let others make you feel bad and guilty for no justifiable reason. Don't take shit from no one, especially when they are trying to deliberately offend or hurt you.

5. Learn to be selfish. We give and give and give so much, but forget ourselves in the process. The love you gave your ex or so-called friend, give that to yourself now. Love yourself truly, because you deserve it. It's your life so do what's good for you.

6. Let go. How willing you are to let go of stinky old garbage depends on how much you truly love yourself. Not letting go brings emotional, physical and mental pain and illness. If you really want to be happy and healthy, then you have no choice but to let go of the past and make place for the good things and people in your life.

7. Destroy all bad habits. Easier said than done? No. If you truly want to be healthy and not die, then you can do it. It's all about willpower, making that “1 decision” and sticking to it! Stop smoking. Stop taking drugs. Stop drinking alcohol excessively (only in moderation). Stop eating damaging food. If you can't do it alone, then get external help and stop hurting yourself.

8. Throw away all the junk you don't need. Like the bad people that collect dust in your life, so do the things that you don’t need. I hate going into homes that are cluttered with "stuff" because I can't breathe there. Your home reflects your inner self, so why block yourself with useless things? Take a big garbage bag on the weekend, go from room to room, throw away the small crap and destroy the clutter. Keep it simple. Give the clothing and things you don't need to charity.

Like my Papa always tells me, "Make a solid firm decision and stick to it. Going back and forth will only bring more pain and insecurity." Some of these 8 points may sound tough, but are necessary in order to move into a better life and a happier new year. We must never stop to work on ourselves and develop for the better. We have this one life, so why deprive ourselves of complete happiness?

Next week comes part 2 about rebuilding the good after the destruction of the bad.

To be continued ...